TODAY’S DOCKET


Today’s docket we have four cases. All of them are tax cases at the federal level. The Jury has been seated the judge is at the bench, the prosecutor has signaled he is ready. Shall we begin? Note: all four Defendants wished not to have a B.A.R. (British Aristocratic Regency or British Accreditation Registration) Lawyer represent them.

First up, is Johnny American who has been charged with not paying a tax on distilled spirits. The prosecutor asks do you import and distribute distilled spirits? Johnny says Yes I am a beer and liquor distributor. Why haven’t you paid your tax on the distilled spirits? Johnny replied because there is no law that says I am liable to pay a tax on distilled spirits. The prosecutor, pulled out the law book, and showed Johnny Title 26 sub-section 5005 and asked him to read it for the jury. Johnny read “The distiller or importer of distilled spirits shall be liable for the taxes imposed thereon by section 5001 (a)(1). There you have it, you are wrong, you are liable. The jury took 5 minutes to find Johnny guilty.

Second up, is Suzy Citizen who has been charged with not paying a tax on her cigarette business. Suzy makes cigarettes from tobacco she grows on her farm and sells cigarettes to the locals and tourist in the area. The prosecutor asks if she grows tobacco. Yes says Suzy. Do you turn that tobacco into cigarettes, asked the prosecutor? Yes says Suzy. The prosecutor asks, why haven’t you paid your tax on your tobacco products? Suzy replies because there is no law that make me liable. The prosecutor, gets out the law book, and turns to Title 26 sub-section 5703, and asks Suzy to read it. Suzy reads, the manufacturer or importer of tobacco products and cigarette papers and tubes shall be liable for the taxes imposed thereon by section 5701. Slam dunk Suzy is convicted by the jury in a matter of minutes.

Third up, is Paul Patriot who has been charged with not paying a tax on the wagers he accepted. Paul runs a late night gambling room out of his home. The prosecutor asks Paul if he takes wagers on sporting events. Yes, replies Paul. Do you accept wagers on casino games such as roulette and blackjack asks the prosecutor. Sure replies Paul, there my best money makers. The prosecutor asks Paul why haven’t you paid your wagering taxes? Paul says because he could not find a law that makes him liable for wagering. The prosecutor grabs his trusty law book and turns to Title 26 sub-section 4401 (c) and asks Paul to read it. Paul reads, each person who is engaged in the business of accepting wagers shall be liable for and shall pay the tax under this subchapter on all wagers placed with him. Paul’s bubble burst, and the jury sent him off to jail.

Last but not least we have, Ed Brown who is charged with not paying a tax on his labor. Ed works as an exterminator, on his own. He trades his labor and expertise for federal reserve notes. The prosecutor asks are you incorporated. No replies Ed, I am not a corporation. Do you earn income asked the prosecutor? No replied Ed, I told you I am no a corporation, therefore I cannot have income because I believe the congress and the Supreme Court has said income is a gain or profit from corporate activity. Mr. Brown you do earn a living, do you not. Yes I do, replied Ed. Then why haven’t you paid your income tax, asked the prosecutor? Ed says because I can not find a law that makes me liable for an income tax. The prosecutor paused, looked around and seen the Jury was waiting for the law book to come out, to shine its light of truth to the Jury once again. But wait no law book, the Jury is wondering now. The prosecutor starts to bead up with sweat and asks the judge in a scratchy soft voice for a recess.

Once back from recess the Judge orders the Jury to deliberations because he says the trial has concluded. The jury asked itself, why didn’t the prosecutor drop the law in Mr. Brown’s lap and make our job easier? So the Jury sent a note out to the judge asking for the law book the prosecutor was using. The judge sent a note back, you have all you need to get the job done, it said. Well the Jury smelled a rat at this point. The Jury said, no law, no crime, and no conviction. When the Jury read the not guilty plea in open court the judge’s face went pale white and the prosecutor stomped out of the room. One Juror remarked all they had to do was show us the law, like in the first 3 cases, and they would have gotten their conviction.

HHmmmmmmm..........


SHOW US THE LAW!

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